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[truthliesinspace]

[INSERT THE MOST OBNOXIOUS YET INSPIRATIONAL VOICEMAIL BULLSHIT HERE also for continuations if need be]

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[truthliesinspace]

[The thought of Kokichi actually attacking someone gives him pause, because yeah, he knows how this guy operates now. He's a reactor, not an attacker, never purposely getting his hands dirty unless someone strikes first. Sure, he also realizes Kokichi is far more capable than he looks, but it's all the more reason the little guy keeps it on the downlow. For him to lash out like that. . .yeah, he must have been really pissed.

Kaito follows his gaze up to the ceiling, quiet for another long moment.]


. . .no one's telling you not to hate her. Wouldn't blame you if you never let it go, to be honest. Hell, if Maki Roll were here. . .she probably would have snapped her neck by now.

But, doesn't change the fact that we're dead and gone. Tsumugi is too. Anything we do now is just for our own satisfaction.

And for me, hating her or killing her wouldn't give me even an ounce of it.

[lieindespair]

[ After letting that statement hang in the air for a moment, he drops his gaze back over at Kaito. ]

Not even a little?

She killed Amami-chan. She let Akamatsu-chan take the blame. She was willing to die to make sure that the killing game continued.

And hurting the person responsible for so much pain and suffering wouldn't make you feel at least a little good?

[truthliesinspace]

I don't hurt women.

[saying it outloud, he knows that's a bit of a lame excuse. that, and who knows? maybe that was 'written' into him to keep him in check. but. . .it's part of him, and he absolutely has no plans to throw his morals and ideals in the trash now.]

She's done so much horrible shit. Even now I'm still suffering for falling for her lies--I'm still sick, it turns out, so gotta deal with that later. And it's cuz of her, probably no one got out alive.

[a beat, and then a small, but sad smile]

But. . .I left it all to Shuichi and the others. I believed in them. They dismantled that damn game to its core, and even if it cost them their lives, it was their choice to make. Not hers.

They've given me more satisfaction than anything I could do to her with my own hands.

[lieindespair]

I'd make an exception for monsters like her...

[ Real noble, Kokichi.

The revelation that Kaito is sick, even after death puts a level of concern in Kokichi's heart that he can't hide from his face and surprises even him.

His face falls when he more or less confirms what he'd suspected about the others, and his heart sinks. He looks dour and his shoulders sag. ]

I... I have to believe that they didn't die.

You, me, and Shirogane are here. This is hell, of that I'm sure.

They.. wouldn't have made it here.

[truthliesinspace]

Hooh? What's that, you're gonna believe in something without the facts, and defy logic?

Looks like you've been changing, too.

[lieindespair]

[ Congratulations, Kaito, you've gotten him to blush. He grits his teeth and pouts, looking away in a half-assed effort to hide it. ]

Shut up. I never said anything about that. Now who's putting words in whose mouth?

[truthliesinspace]

[a little laugh]

You're the one who said you have to believe in 'em.

But, yeah, I get it. I wanna believe they survived, too. But either way. . .

It doesn't matter now. We can't turn back the clock. All we can do is live new lives.

[lieindespair]

Don't twist it. I had to, you know. If I didn't, then I would've died for nothing.

... I put my faith in you, didn't I? I had to trust that you and them would take it all down for me. I didn't have a choice. It was that or die like a coward.

[ He sighs again. ]

What's the point? It's done, isn't it? If we're in hell, there's no getting back, there's no redemption, there's nothing. Just this.

[truthliesinspace]

. . .Yeah, you did. I'm not gonna pretend like I didn't have my own motivations behind it, but I'm glad you did trust me with it. I'll give credit where credit's due--your suspicions were right on the money. And, hey! All turned out okay, for the most part.

[I mean, them BOTH dying and then their friends having an uncertain chance of survival ain't great but like, fuck that audience at least.

he leans back, tapping a finger on the arm of his chair]

I wouldn't think of it that bleakly now, but. . .

. . .

Hey, is there something you regret?

[lieindespair]

[ His own motivations...? Maybe he'd like to get into that at some point but... now doesn't seem like the time.

It... feels good to be honest about all this. No walls, no lies to back up with other lies, no extra work, just... an honest, simple conversation. It feels foreign but... clean, somehow.

It's nice. ]

Something I regret? Like what?

[truthliesinspace]

Like, y'know--something you wish you could do over. Fix, even if you can't now. . .

I pretty much did everything I could and what I wanted given the circumstances. And Tsumugi, as fucked up as she was, it looked like she was giving it her all, too. She was willing to die for her damn game, after all.

So maybe. . .that's why we're able to stay friends? For better or worse, we did everything we wanted.

But, did you?

[lieindespair]

Hmnh.

[ Knowing what he does about Tsumugi, the idea that she and Kaito can remain friends puts a bad taste in his mouth but... on some level he gets it. It's familiarity at the very least.

He crosses his legs on his seat and pouts. ]

Yeah, it'd be getting all of you idiots to listen to me from the start. We wouldn't have had to play that stupid game if you all just listened to me and tried to stop it from the get-go.

[truthliesinspace]

. . .

I gotta ask, why weren't you just straight with us? Instead of making enemies and all. . .were you afraid you'd end up like Kaede?

[lieindespair]

Forgive me for thinking more than one of you was capable of critical thought. Besides, it was a game, wasn't it? I wanted to have fun. Or... at the very least lie to myself enough to the point where I could feel like I was having fun... And if I could get you all to reach the same conclusions I did, then it wouldn't look like it came from me, right? And you'd all feel so proud of yourselves.

Besides, it's way easier to get people to go along with your plans when they've done the work themselves and actually reached the same conclusions on their own. Make them think it's their own idea and all that, you know what I'm saying?

You all just decided to hate me because I lied. That's not my fault.

[ Though.. that's not entirely true. And as long as he's being finally honest with Kaito... ]

...And besides... I saw the truth of the outside world before you all did... I thought it was hopeless. Don't think I noticed you all moping around for days and days... what the hell did you think I was doing when I was off on my own all those times?

[truthliesinspace]

How were we supposed to know, man? You never told us anything. Nothing straight, anyway. Critical thinking kinda goes out the window when bodies start dropping.

[Kaito sighs to himself, frowning slightly. In a way, talking to Kokichi was far more exhausting than Tsumugi. They were both manipulative little bastards, but Kokoichi's inability to trust anyone despite his earnest attempts to help them was just. . .sad. And it's not like he didn't understand, Kaito gets it. They all had their own ways of stopping the killing game. Kaede, Rantaro, hell, even Angie. . .everyone's goal was the same.

But something about Kokichi always rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe it's because deep down, Kaito knew he was a liar, too. But he lied to everyone else. . .he couldn't imagine lying to himself.

It feels like that would be a lonely existence.]

. . .

Maybe I should've paid more attention to you though. Then you wouldn't have come up with so many crazy schemes. When I punched you that one time though--you know it's cuz I was worried, right? I didn't want you snapping under pressure, too. But looks like it was too late.

[lieindespair]

I didn't have all of my memories either, you know... I wasn't working with a full deck, and until I had a full handle on what I thought was the situation... I didn't know who I could trust. Any one of you could have been the mastermind, after all, and I'm not stupid enough to show my hand to just anyone. And... no one wanted to trust me and either blew me off or blew my trust at just about any opportunity.

Can you blame me for being so cagey?

[ He certainly looks a little lonely, and even sad. Maybe he does have regrets about it all but he's still a bit too proud to admit that just yet. ]

Saihara-chan needed you. I.... might've gotten jealous of you two toward the end there... but without you he wouldn't have gotten to be quite so bold. You taught him how to stand up for himself and... he needed that.

... I can handle myself. That's what I'm good at.

[truthliesinspace]

Yeah?? For such a smart guy, you're stubborn as hell. If your way wasn't working out, you should have changed it up, jeeze.

[ever blunt as always, that's Kaito]

Look man, I can handle myself, too. Doesn't mean I wanna do it alone.

So why don't you give the lone wolf act a rest already?

[lieindespair]

Well... Your way was stupid.

[ Yeah, he's still stubborn.

Still... there's no reason to be so guarded here, is there? His pout softens... just a touch as he folds his hands behind his head. ]

Made-up persona or not... I'm still the Ultimate Supreme Leader. It's not that easy, you know. that's just... who I am. Sure, there's a whole support system and whatnot yadda, yadda, but the point is that it's more than just being king, you know. It's.. a lot of responsibility. Even.. if it is for just a bunch of hooligans. I'm still responsible for things and I have to understand the gravity of that situation, you know.

I'm not a lone wolf because I wanna be. I have to be if I want to keep people safe. I have to consider every angle and make contingencies for my contingencies. And if someone gets hurt or caught, at the end of the day, that's on me, even if it was their mess up that made it happen.

[truthliesinspace]

[In a way, when not pulling pranks or putting on that childish facade, Kokichi. . .really does sound like a leader. Or at least, he has the makings of one.

Kaito leans forward, resting his chin on a propped arm.]

Alright then, consider this angle. . .

Let me help you, dumbass.

[lieindespair]

nnh!

[ Such a straightforward way of putting it, on top of the insult?! Once again his cheeks pinken and he grits his teeth.

It's not like he has very many options. ]

We'll see. What're your ideas?

[truthliesinspace]

I thought you were the ideas guy?

[said slightly in jest, letting out a laugh.]

You don't have to do everything alone. And I think--you don't wanna do it alone in the first place. That's why you're here talking to me, isn't it?

[lieindespair]

Ha. Cute.

[ He gives a sarcastic sneer and rolls his eyes. ]

I came to talk to you because who the hell else was going to understand?

[truthliesinspace]

Real talk? I'd be lying if I said I fully understood it. Even after all that, I ain't sure what's real and what isn't. I just gotta have faith in what I want. . .

There really ain't no perfect answers for any of this wild shit.

[lieindespair]

Shirogane said you'd "moved on", and you called her your friend... I still don't get it. There's nothing I think I'd like more than to see her as a red stain somewhere.

How'd you do it?

[truthliesinspace]

I saw her as a stain in that memory. That's. Enough for me.

[Is it? Maybe not, but it's what he's decided. He refuses to make a hypocrite of himself. He spent so much energy convincing Maki not to try and kill Kokichi, and when she ignored it. . .all hell broke loose. Who knows what could happen if he did the same thing?]

Like I said, she's not the same girl. Maybe it's because she was trying to keep an eye on me, or she really was trying to be my friend, but we started hanging out more. It's not like I hated her back in the killing game, but my focus was on Shuichi and Maki. They needed my help most at the time. . .

But here, I dunno. I just got to know her. A big nerd ranting about anime and cosplay and shit I don't understand, stuffing me in costumes, us working in maid cafes together. . .heh, it was fun. There was even this, weird thing that happened before you got here, where old memories of people took physical form. I saw her as a middle schooler with her friends in this nerdy otaku cafe, geeking out over dumb shit. It was kinda cute.

And it's not just me. She's made other friends here. Friends who accept her for everything she is. It's like. . .

She's got no right to stop me from making a new life, y'know? So what right do I have to stop her from moving on, too?